Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I feel like . . . .?

You know the funny thing about all of this chemo stuff is I’m never sure what I feel like. I’ll be rolling along feeling great and then have to go lie down and sleep for a couple of hours. It really makes it hard to plan things!

After last Thursday’s treatment went pretty well, I thought I was doing ok. Friday night I even went to the Halloween Party at the Clubhouse and really enjoyed seeing and talking to everyone. Saturday morning I woke up and felt super and full of energy. I got some things done around the house and ran an errand. I thought this is wonderful! I’m really getting a hold of this treatment thing. Then I slept the rest of the day, and it kind of went down hill from there. I thought I felt ok when it came time to go trick or treating and so I went to a friend’s house for dinner while Jim took the boys around to all of the houses. I was able to talk and hang out for about 2 hours and then I hit a wall. I got so sleepy I was worried Jim wouldn’t get back in time before I fell asleep at the table.

On Sunday, I felt so so and then yesterday I didn’t feel very good at all. When I don’t feel good, it’s a drag. I can either sleep or stare at the TV. Reading is hard - I can’t seem to concentrate and can only kind of scan headlines or read a few sentences. It feels like motion sickness. And I hate to complain, but it gets very boring. Its like I’m sitting there and really want to do something, but anything I do makes me sick. I keep thinking if I ate something or drank something or took a walk – there has to be just the right thing and I’ll feel ok. However, it seems that only patience is what I need to just work through this thing.

But I'm back this morning, feel’n pretty darn good!

Whoo Hoo!


  1. When life is super busy, we dream about having nothing to do so we can just relax and be still. But, in reality, I think it is really hard when we can't stay mentally occupied. We are all so driven to be productive and accomplish things and get things done! We are not a very "Zen" culture. We don't do so well with stillness and silence...BORING!

    But, in truth, you are not doing "nothing." Your body is very busy fighting and healing. You just need your brain to be more patient with the process!

    I wonder if yoga or meditation or mindfulness stuff might be helpful?? Yoga?


  2. Nancy has some very good points. Could you try listening to audio books when you are feeling bad? I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle. Even if you drift in and out of paying attention its very soothing.


  3. I was thinking along the same lines as Nancy and was going to suggest light yoga or meditation. I also download a bunch of free audio podcasts on itunes and listen to those at work. My favorite is NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me gameshow.

    The rollcoaster of feelings that you are going through sound frustrating. I can see how your body needs that down time to heal itself. Having those down moments will allow you to fully enjoy the up moments.

    I'm just glad that you have family and friends who love you and support you through this.

  4. I keep trying to gear up for yoga on days when I feel good. I KNOW it will make me feel better. I really miss the exercise I was getting this summer.

    I love Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and usually listen to that or This America Life when I get my chemo treatments.

    Thanks for all of your input!