I had mentioned last post that Jim had gotten the stomach flu. By Friday afternoon at 5:00, Miles, Michael and I all had it. And IT was awful. The kind of flu that totally wipes you out and makes you hate your whole body. The kind where you are soooo miserable you can't even sleep, so you lie in bed and wait for daylight. The kind that lays flat 8 and 11 year olds to the point where they can't even drag themselves to the computer or video game controller. Amelia gave it a valiant fight by quarantining herself, but finally succumbed Sunday afternoon. After the initial 12 hours of intense agony, you feel better but still don't have much energy or appetite for 3 or 4 days. Thats the kind of flu we had. Unless of course you are Jim and had to care for the rest of us. Then you were only sick for 2 days.
But we are all on the mend now. The boys went back to school yesterday, and Amelia went back today. The boys, however, are back home today and out the rest of the week because of parent teacher conferences. They are glad they are not having to waste good days off from school being sick. And I'm happy we are all feeling better.
Feeling better, so we can think of green grass and blue skies and yellow sunshine. And picture the redbuds and dogwoods in bloom. And figure out how I'm going to get my lilac bouquet this year.
Monique
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
2 Down, 2 To Go
I just got back from chemo treatment and so far, so good. Jim had the stomach flu today, so I was on my own. Seems we are developing a habit of someone being sick on chemo days, so I hope we can break this cycle. After today, I should only have 2 left. All of my "counts" were good, so I must be doing ok at staying well. It is hard because I've been feeling very good, so it is hard to avoid going out. I missed a school event this week, but as that is probably where Jim picked his bug up, I'm glad I didn't go. A friend from the Lake dropped me off at the cancer center this morning and then my sister came by this afternoon to take me home. Thank goodness for friends and sisters! I can always call Megan at the last minute in an emergency, and she is there. She even sent chicken noodle soup home for Jim. As usual we have someone bring a meal in tonight, so I don't need to worry about what to feed the rest of the group.
As part of my chemo drugs, I get a steroid and benadryl to combat the nausea. It is VERY interesting to be sleepy from the benadryl and wound up from the steroids at the same time. And it will make it very hard to sleep tonight.
Well, just as my hair has come in, it is falling out again. I think it just started today. No one can seem to agree on what color it is, but there is lots of blond. Thankfully, my head isn't hurting yet. I hope my scalp has adjusted to the hair coming and going and won't give me any trouble.
Kuddos to the kids for really pitching in today while Jim is sick. Miles even got the dogs walked before school.
It is 50 degrees here, so I hope everyone is having a spectacular day!
Monique
As part of my chemo drugs, I get a steroid and benadryl to combat the nausea. It is VERY interesting to be sleepy from the benadryl and wound up from the steroids at the same time. And it will make it very hard to sleep tonight.
Well, just as my hair has come in, it is falling out again. I think it just started today. No one can seem to agree on what color it is, but there is lots of blond. Thankfully, my head isn't hurting yet. I hope my scalp has adjusted to the hair coming and going and won't give me any trouble.
Kuddos to the kids for really pitching in today while Jim is sick. Miles even got the dogs walked before school.
It is 50 degrees here, so I hope everyone is having a spectacular day!
Monique
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hey Its My Birthday!
Remember when you were a kid and birthdays were a celebration that you were FINALLY another year older? Another year closer to something. From about 3 to 12, I looked forward to birthdays for the cake and presents. Big milestones were 16 so I could drive, 18 so I could vote for Jimmy Carter for Pres and of course, 21 so I could finally quit panicking that the bouncer would reject my fake id. For a while in my late 20's they were fun because a friend and I would hit the bars and tell the bartender it was our 21st birthday so we could get free beer. Then we'd laugh until we were in tears because at the ripe old age of 27 or 28, we could still pass for 21. Once I had kids, I decided my birthday wasn't that special anymore because each of theirs was a celebration of the 3 happiest days of my life. My birthday just wasn't as much fun, not because I dreaded the marking of time, but the day didn't really mean much anymore.
I'm pretty sure my dad had a different philosophy. He was the only male in his family who lived past the age of 40. So rather than think that each birthday was just a tick marking another year, it was the reminder that he'd gotten another year he really hadn't expected to have. Dad had a wonderful sense of humor, but I think he was really serious about this. When he turned 70, he started scaring the sh*#t out of us with his driving. When I said maybe he should slow down, he replied "I'm not going to become one of those old men who go 45 mph on the highway" - and believe me he didn't! And not that he was perfect, but he exercised regularly and most importantly he stayed engaged and interested. I never heard Dad complain about growing old.
So given my pretty scary bout with cancer, I'm starting to feel a little differently about birthdays. I'll look forward to my birthday and celebrate good another year. I'll use it as a day to reflect on what I'm doing to enjoy my life. Its not so much that each year, I'll try something new (or daring), but I'll just check in to make sure I'm still doing some things that I truly look forward to. Your birthday should be about what you can do and not about what you can't do just because you turned another year older.
Hmmm, wonder if I can get a free beer today?
Monique
I'm pretty sure my dad had a different philosophy. He was the only male in his family who lived past the age of 40. So rather than think that each birthday was just a tick marking another year, it was the reminder that he'd gotten another year he really hadn't expected to have. Dad had a wonderful sense of humor, but I think he was really serious about this. When he turned 70, he started scaring the sh*#t out of us with his driving. When I said maybe he should slow down, he replied "I'm not going to become one of those old men who go 45 mph on the highway" - and believe me he didn't! And not that he was perfect, but he exercised regularly and most importantly he stayed engaged and interested. I never heard Dad complain about growing old.
So given my pretty scary bout with cancer, I'm starting to feel a little differently about birthdays. I'll look forward to my birthday and celebrate good another year. I'll use it as a day to reflect on what I'm doing to enjoy my life. Its not so much that each year, I'll try something new (or daring), but I'll just check in to make sure I'm still doing some things that I truly look forward to. Your birthday should be about what you can do and not about what you can't do just because you turned another year older.
Hmmm, wonder if I can get a free beer today?
Monique
Monday, February 8, 2010
Shout Out to the Who Dat Nation
Ok, I'm glad I don't live in Washington, DC ( I think thats a little too much snow!), and at least for today, I wish I lived in New Orleans. As a Chiefs fan, I can only imagine what it must be like to have your home team win the Superbowl. I love to watch football and the game last night was so good. I can't remember ever seeing an onside kick that actually worked.
And after starting my chemo treatments again last week, I realized I've got a couple of other things to be thankful for. I think I mentioned in my last post that this time around the treatments would take approximately 5 hours, which I was really dreading. Then I overheard the man in the infusion room whose chemo round was all day, every day for a week and then he got a week off and then started all over again. I also ran into my friend who is a lung cancer survivor whose chemo treatment was 8 hours each time. So, ok, I can handle 5 hours every 2 weeks with no problem!
This go round is so far MUCH better than last time. My brain isn't all fuzzy and I'm not sick at all. The catch with this one is the joint pain. I've been trying to think about how to describe this. Its kind of like when you get the flu and your body just aches really bad. The pain is mostly in my hips, knees and upper thighs. I realize I don't have joints in my thighs, so I'm not sure why they hurt so much. Maybe its just sympathy pains! And then sometimes the pain is also in my back. Definitely it hurts worse when I stand or walk around for more than 10 minutes or so. Ibuprofen and a heating pad, however, are helping to make this bearable. And reading, if I can get going in my book, I forget about how bad my legs are hurting. But all in all, this too is bearable, and I'd much rather deal with the aches than being nauseous like I was last time.
Regarding my recovery from surgery, it contines to get better each day. All of the incisions are pretty much healed. I think I pretty much have full range of motion back, although it still hurts to do things where my arm has to be fully extended. And I'm still being careful on lifting anything too heavy with that arm. My tennis partner leaves this week to spend a month at her house in Mexico (won't even think about her basking in the sun and warm weather!). I'm thinking by the time she gets back, I should be about through with chemo and we might have a few spring like days and we can get on the court for just a little while. Some days I worry I won't even have the strength to get the ball over the net, but I'll just need to start somewhere. And it will feel so good!
But for now I'm just looking forward to the Olympics - starts Friday!
I hope everyone has a spectacular day!
Monique
And after starting my chemo treatments again last week, I realized I've got a couple of other things to be thankful for. I think I mentioned in my last post that this time around the treatments would take approximately 5 hours, which I was really dreading. Then I overheard the man in the infusion room whose chemo round was all day, every day for a week and then he got a week off and then started all over again. I also ran into my friend who is a lung cancer survivor whose chemo treatment was 8 hours each time. So, ok, I can handle 5 hours every 2 weeks with no problem!
This go round is so far MUCH better than last time. My brain isn't all fuzzy and I'm not sick at all. The catch with this one is the joint pain. I've been trying to think about how to describe this. Its kind of like when you get the flu and your body just aches really bad. The pain is mostly in my hips, knees and upper thighs. I realize I don't have joints in my thighs, so I'm not sure why they hurt so much. Maybe its just sympathy pains! And then sometimes the pain is also in my back. Definitely it hurts worse when I stand or walk around for more than 10 minutes or so. Ibuprofen and a heating pad, however, are helping to make this bearable. And reading, if I can get going in my book, I forget about how bad my legs are hurting. But all in all, this too is bearable, and I'd much rather deal with the aches than being nauseous like I was last time.
Regarding my recovery from surgery, it contines to get better each day. All of the incisions are pretty much healed. I think I pretty much have full range of motion back, although it still hurts to do things where my arm has to be fully extended. And I'm still being careful on lifting anything too heavy with that arm. My tennis partner leaves this week to spend a month at her house in Mexico (won't even think about her basking in the sun and warm weather!). I'm thinking by the time she gets back, I should be about through with chemo and we might have a few spring like days and we can get on the court for just a little while. Some days I worry I won't even have the strength to get the ball over the net, but I'll just need to start somewhere. And it will feel so good!
But for now I'm just looking forward to the Olympics - starts Friday!
I hope everyone has a spectacular day!
Monique
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Ok, Here's the Plan
I'm glad (I think) to get the treatment plan moving again. We saw the oncologist on Thursday and he's ready to start chemo. This time I'll be taking Taxol. Dr. Neubauer said this go round should be much easier than last time. Some possible side affects he mentioned are joint pain, tingling in your finger tips and of course, hair loss. It is also not as likely to make me as nauseous as what I took last time. The treatments will be every 2 weeks for a total of 4, and I'll take the Neulasta (keeps your white blood cell count up) shot the day after treatment. He had mentioned before that I might be on a 3 week schedule and wouldn't have to take the Neulasta shot , but evidently changed his mind. He said there has been some indication that it is more effective taking it more frequently. The Taxol also has to be administered more slowly, so each treatment will take 3 to 4 hours - ugh! And now for an interesting Taxol fact - it is made from the Yew plant. Going natural!
Dr. Neubauer did say that everything is going well and these last chemo and radition treatments are like "throwing the kitchen sink" at me to try to insure that they kill any cancer that might be lurking about and keep it from coming back. And that is what I want. I can handle all of the side affects, so I certainly want to do everything necessary to get rid of the C once and for all.
As anxious as I'm to get started, so I can get this over with, I am also kind of dreading getting back on the chemo wagon. I just keep telling myself, its not going to be as bad and it will soon be over. We've started thinking about our annual summer vacation to give me something to look forward to. I think I mentioned Michael broke his arm a week after we got home last summer and then with my mom and the cancer, it was just downhill from there. We went to the Blackhills and Yellowstone and just had a wonderful time, so I can't wait until we can get away from the doctors and all the other day to day stuff and just enjoy being together.
I know everyone is just dieing to know what the latest hair update is. It is still quite short, maybe a 1/4 of an inch. I had a woman tell me today what a beautiful color it is, and I was like are you crazy? Mainly because it is just hard for me to see it very well. She claims it is strawberry blonde. I got worried a couple of days ago when I noticed dark brown in my eyebrows. They have always been either a very light red or blond. Jim said he does see some darker hair coming in on my head. Who knows maybe I'll just be a calico! Of course, Miles tells me it is just gray and to quit worrying about it. Yeah, right!
And I continue to get better from the surgery. While I still don't quite have all of my range of motion back, I can pretty much reach everything if I take it slowly. And we are down to a very small spot left for the skin graft to heal. I'll go for my weekly checkup with Dr. Sclar this afternoon and I'm hoping we can get rid of the last bandage. Of course, I'm almost back to the point where I need to start exercising again and that brings me back to Yoga! Oh well, I really will get started this time! :)
Gotta run to the library and pick up my lastest book supply. I finished Gate to the Stairs and though I liked it, it won't make my top 20 list. The writing though was wonderful. I also just knocked off The Help. This was very good and if you haven't read it, I would suggest it.
Take care!
Monique
Dr. Neubauer did say that everything is going well and these last chemo and radition treatments are like "throwing the kitchen sink" at me to try to insure that they kill any cancer that might be lurking about and keep it from coming back. And that is what I want. I can handle all of the side affects, so I certainly want to do everything necessary to get rid of the C once and for all.
As anxious as I'm to get started, so I can get this over with, I am also kind of dreading getting back on the chemo wagon. I just keep telling myself, its not going to be as bad and it will soon be over. We've started thinking about our annual summer vacation to give me something to look forward to. I think I mentioned Michael broke his arm a week after we got home last summer and then with my mom and the cancer, it was just downhill from there. We went to the Blackhills and Yellowstone and just had a wonderful time, so I can't wait until we can get away from the doctors and all the other day to day stuff and just enjoy being together.
I know everyone is just dieing to know what the latest hair update is. It is still quite short, maybe a 1/4 of an inch. I had a woman tell me today what a beautiful color it is, and I was like are you crazy? Mainly because it is just hard for me to see it very well. She claims it is strawberry blonde. I got worried a couple of days ago when I noticed dark brown in my eyebrows. They have always been either a very light red or blond. Jim said he does see some darker hair coming in on my head. Who knows maybe I'll just be a calico! Of course, Miles tells me it is just gray and to quit worrying about it. Yeah, right!
And I continue to get better from the surgery. While I still don't quite have all of my range of motion back, I can pretty much reach everything if I take it slowly. And we are down to a very small spot left for the skin graft to heal. I'll go for my weekly checkup with Dr. Sclar this afternoon and I'm hoping we can get rid of the last bandage. Of course, I'm almost back to the point where I need to start exercising again and that brings me back to Yoga! Oh well, I really will get started this time! :)
Gotta run to the library and pick up my lastest book supply. I finished Gate to the Stairs and though I liked it, it won't make my top 20 list. The writing though was wonderful. I also just knocked off The Help. This was very good and if you haven't read it, I would suggest it.
Take care!
Monique
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Life in the Slow Lane
Ok, I admit I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to being sick, so its been a little frustrating recovering from my mastectomy. The first 4 weeks were oh so painful, but over the last week it is finally getting better. And even though it has seemed very slow to me, the recovery has gone remarkably well, so I have been very fortunate. My range of motion is much better, and although I am still sore, it gets easier to do things everyday. And most importantly, I can now make my own coffee!
Dr. Sclar has said I'm ready for chemo and so I'm meeting with Dr. Neubauer (my oncologist) Thursday morning to see what he says. I'm really ready to get moving again on this treatment regime. I'm optimistic that this time around it won't be so bad. I figure my euphoric outlook will keep me going through at least 2 rounds and by the time I might start feeling bad I'll be almost through. I guess some might say I have my head in the sand (who in their right might would look forward to starting chemo!), but I've found this approach has worked pretty well for me. I try to keep my eye on getting back to a somewhat normal life this summer. I keep thinking about all of the things I love about summer - playing tennis, summer swim team, the LF 4th of July and our family vacation. Plus Jim and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in July. So I've just got to get through the next couple months!
Since I haven't been able to do much else, I've been reading about a book a day. Mostly I've been reading several crime series. Maybe not the best writing, but easy to get through! I did read A Friend of the Family which was very good. I started Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs last night and was immediately taken in by her prose. Kind of like living on junk food for several weeks and then getting a carefully crafted gourmet meal. You realize what you've been missing when you finally get back to the good stuff!
And best of all, I made it to the boys' swim meet last weekend. I hadn't seen them swim since October when I last went to one of their practices. I think the hot temps and chlorine smell at the pool just didn't mix well with chemo. Anyway, my friend and tennis partner took me down so I could watch a couple of their events. Both did very well and improved their times in each of their events, and it was so fun to watch them.
So all in all, I'm getting better and life is going well - and maybe slow isn't so bad after all!
Take care!
Monique
Dr. Sclar has said I'm ready for chemo and so I'm meeting with Dr. Neubauer (my oncologist) Thursday morning to see what he says. I'm really ready to get moving again on this treatment regime. I'm optimistic that this time around it won't be so bad. I figure my euphoric outlook will keep me going through at least 2 rounds and by the time I might start feeling bad I'll be almost through. I guess some might say I have my head in the sand (who in their right might would look forward to starting chemo!), but I've found this approach has worked pretty well for me. I try to keep my eye on getting back to a somewhat normal life this summer. I keep thinking about all of the things I love about summer - playing tennis, summer swim team, the LF 4th of July and our family vacation. Plus Jim and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in July. So I've just got to get through the next couple months!
Since I haven't been able to do much else, I've been reading about a book a day. Mostly I've been reading several crime series. Maybe not the best writing, but easy to get through! I did read A Friend of the Family which was very good. I started Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs last night and was immediately taken in by her prose. Kind of like living on junk food for several weeks and then getting a carefully crafted gourmet meal. You realize what you've been missing when you finally get back to the good stuff!
And best of all, I made it to the boys' swim meet last weekend. I hadn't seen them swim since October when I last went to one of their practices. I think the hot temps and chlorine smell at the pool just didn't mix well with chemo. Anyway, my friend and tennis partner took me down so I could watch a couple of their events. Both did very well and improved their times in each of their events, and it was so fun to watch them.
So all in all, I'm getting better and life is going well - and maybe slow isn't so bad after all!
Take care!
Monique
Monday, January 11, 2010
Brrrr. . . . .
Is everyone else thawing out? On the one hand I hate having cancer and recovering from a mastectomy, but on the other, at least I didn't have to get out much last week.
Everything is continuing to mend, thank goodness. We did have to go to the doctor every other day last week, just so Dr. Sclar could monitor the skin graft. I am still on no activity, but he did finally add 1 exercise on Friday. I feel like this is my first step toward preparing for tennis this spring. I can start moving my arm upwards, but only in front. I'm still can't move it out to the side. He said he would probably add more exercises this week. I go back tomorrow.
I am still not sure when I'll start chemo again. Right now this is totally up to Dr. Sclar and when he thinks I'm sufficiently recovered. At the beginning, Dr. Neubauer and Dr. Sclar said it would be a minimum of 4 weeks, but as we are 3 weeks out from my surgery, I bet it will be more like 5 or 6 weeks. There were 2 very small patches where the skin graft didn't take and I think he wants these to heal over before releasing me. According to Jim, these spots are healing quickly.
Speaking of Jim, he has just been phenomenal through this whole thing. He has taken such good care of me, including having to change my bandages 2 and 3 times a day. He is always "up" for me and never ever complains or evens acts like taking care of me is a bother. When I'm feeling down at not being able to do much, he always reminds me my only job right now is to get well. Mom always used to tell me how lucky I was to have him, and she was oh so right.
One of the bright spots in the last week or so has been my hair is coming back in. My head is now covered with new fuzz and for some reason that really makes me feel good. Although, everyone said it would grow back, I would always panic that I would be the first where it didn't. Silly, I know.
The other good piece is Dr. Sclar said as part of my reconstruction surgery, I would get a free tummy tuck. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a flat stomach again. Although right now, I sometimes wonder if I really want to go through another surgery. I just don't have much patience for the recovery process. But I'm sure by the time that rolls around, I'll be ready.
Have a Wonderful Day!
Monique
Everything is continuing to mend, thank goodness. We did have to go to the doctor every other day last week, just so Dr. Sclar could monitor the skin graft. I am still on no activity, but he did finally add 1 exercise on Friday. I feel like this is my first step toward preparing for tennis this spring. I can start moving my arm upwards, but only in front. I'm still can't move it out to the side. He said he would probably add more exercises this week. I go back tomorrow.
I am still not sure when I'll start chemo again. Right now this is totally up to Dr. Sclar and when he thinks I'm sufficiently recovered. At the beginning, Dr. Neubauer and Dr. Sclar said it would be a minimum of 4 weeks, but as we are 3 weeks out from my surgery, I bet it will be more like 5 or 6 weeks. There were 2 very small patches where the skin graft didn't take and I think he wants these to heal over before releasing me. According to Jim, these spots are healing quickly.
Speaking of Jim, he has just been phenomenal through this whole thing. He has taken such good care of me, including having to change my bandages 2 and 3 times a day. He is always "up" for me and never ever complains or evens acts like taking care of me is a bother. When I'm feeling down at not being able to do much, he always reminds me my only job right now is to get well. Mom always used to tell me how lucky I was to have him, and she was oh so right.
One of the bright spots in the last week or so has been my hair is coming back in. My head is now covered with new fuzz and for some reason that really makes me feel good. Although, everyone said it would grow back, I would always panic that I would be the first where it didn't. Silly, I know.
The other good piece is Dr. Sclar said as part of my reconstruction surgery, I would get a free tummy tuck. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a flat stomach again. Although right now, I sometimes wonder if I really want to go through another surgery. I just don't have much patience for the recovery process. But I'm sure by the time that rolls around, I'll be ready.
Have a Wonderful Day!
Monique
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